I'm dissatisfied

I am dissatisfied. Really, very dissatisfied. I have what I need: food, shelter, technology, information, love, friends -- in short, almost everything I want. And yet, I'm dissatisfied. I'm dissatisfied with the world around me, that doesn't work as it should. With missed opportunities and lost potential. With predatory, evil people who reap satisfaction by sowing misery. With the uncaring, callous nature of modern times. With poverty, inequality, hatred, war, fear, excuses, apologies, and the list goes on.


I feel there is little I can do to cure this. I am but the smallest, most diminutive, indivisible bit; a grain of sand in the vast desert, as are all humans. But then I realize that we are all catalysts of change. We change the reality around us by our mere existence. All is not the same. All is not preordained by fate or humankind. Change is constant.

There may be inescapable truths that we must accept, but they are not the truths of humankind. They are the insurmountable mysteries of the Universe we inhabit. We are merely a minute part of that truth, a spec of universal dust.

Even though I am dissatisfied, discontent lingers in my head, I am not dead. I have not returned to the void and therefore, I am change. I am the catalyst. You are the catalyst. We are all equal while we live and equal in death. We are equal in every way; whole, indivisible. Yet the insistence of separating ourselves from each other appears to shatter that equality. It divides us into countries, religions, fields of labor, industry, and education. And further divides us until we finally believe that we are alone. But we are not, we have not yet returned to the void, to the absolute nothing.

I'm dissatisfied, but I am alive. So I can and do vow not to let my feelings dominate and subordinate me; to take from me the desire to be satisfied. I will change. To be the change I wish to see. To see the equality and fight the injustice that breeds the opposite. To fight the hatred and the fear. To stand for those whose will has been sapped so that they can regain their will and realize that they are equal, and that they are change, and that they can stand and fight for equality and against the oppression of fear and hatred.

I write to you because I'm dissatisfied. Really, truly, very, dissatisfied. I am dissatisfied, but I will write.